Weapon or Tool?

By ReGina Jordan – Bennie Rae Consulting / Owner and Principal Consultant

Feedback. Just the word alone can spark strong reactions. For some, it brings dread. For others, it sparks a quiet sense of power.

The truth is, for most of us, the thought of prior feedback doesn’t bring back fond memories. Instead, we recall moments of anxiety, frustration, fear, anger, or even shame. Unfortunately, this is far more common than many care to admit.

And yet, feedback is essential for growth and success in business. The difference lies in how it’s delivered.

When feedback is weaponized—delivered through accusations, closed questions, or a harsh tone—it shuts people down. But when it’s offered with compassion, empathy, and clarity, feedback becomes one of the most powerful tools for encouragement, motivation, learning, and accountability.

Reasons Why It Matters - A Shifting Workforce

It’s a new day. The workplace is evolving as Baby Boomers (1946–1964) and early Gen Xers (1965–1980) move toward retirement, while Millennials (1981–1996) and Generation Z (1997–2012) are stepping into roles with greater responsibility.

Those still in the workforce are navigating things like:

• The rise of AI, robotics, and automation

• The proliferation of data and cybersecurity concerns

• A widening digital skills gap

• Increasing expectations for mental health support

• Redefined work-life balance with growing demand for flexible schedule models

Today’s employees no longer respond well to “do what you’re told.” They’re inquisitive, verbal, and perform better when they understand at least part of the why behind a directive.

There’s a big difference between asking:

❌ “Why in the world did you do that?”

✅ “Let’s talk through the approach you took.”

The second response shows respect and genuine curiosity. It creates space for dialogue and often reveals valuable insights. Maybe the prior direction was unclear. Maybe the employee didn’t feel comfortable asking questions. Maybe what used to work efficiently no longer applies. Or perhaps there are compliance or safety requirements the employee wasn’t aware of or understood clearly.

When feedback is framed as collaborative, not confrontational, these issues surface—and can be addressed constructively.

The Real Purpose of Feedback

At its core, feedback exists to transfer information that helps someone improve or correct behavior. It should not be used as a weapon that destroys confidence or self-worth.

Equally important: leaders must remain open to what they might learn in the process. Being singularly focused on just spitting feedback and being “right” can cause you to miss valuable insights—or even the chance to transform someone’s experience, productivity, and effectiveness.  This means leaders must be open to receiving feedback as well.

Feedback Essentials

📌 Here’s a quick-reference checklist to keep feedback intentional and impactful:

Feedback That Works

• Is framed to be a two-way conversation

• Is actionable and specific

• Is timely and relevant, isn’t delayed until it is convenient

• Is delivered with thoughtfulness, not emotion

• Is given to provide clarity and expectations

• Includes impact and follow-up

• Is not destructive—it should be helpful

• Can and should include positive reinforcement

• Must be documented, documented, documented

The Leader’s Choice

Leaders hold the power to shape the impact of feedback. It can be used to belittle and discourage—or it can be delivered intentionally to understand, clarify, encourage, and inspire.

At the end of the day, feedback is both a weapon and a tool. The difference depends on how you choose to use it.

The choice is yours.